The Emotional Swings...

I know I missed a day posting so I apologize. On the other hand, I didn't really have a choice. I was too busy sleeping off emotional distraught and trying to play more poker.

Let's begin with ending of my last post.

After having the delicious breakfast I joined a game with all the morning regulars just as I predicted. It was boring just as I predicted. I randomly 3 and 4 bet just as I predicted. I lost my buy in just as I predicted. I knew I threw my money away out of boredom. In fact, I knew that I knew I was gonna throw my money away. I even knew that I knew that I knew I would lose my money and win it back. Does that make sense??? If not...welcome to my world of thought.

So after throwing away my buy in I was confident I could easily win it back buy re-buying in. And I did. I did end up making a profit as well. It wasn't much, but I still came out positive in a 5 hour boring session. The win rate was $25/hr.

I ended up going to bed after the boring session because for some reason I was just sleepy. I woke up 11pm to go play with the night shift. But, the only game available was a higher limit game. There is no way I can play in that game because I do not have enough to really withstand losing a big buy in right now. So I go back to the room, eat, and watch Law & Order episodes. It's now 2am and I still see there's only that same higher limit game. I talk myself into playing at the game. I'm confident that I can easily outplay a lot of the higher limit players because most just aren't too good. What's odd is that I usually make my money from playing with better players. After buying in, I easily outplay opponents on marginal hands in the first half hour. The next half hour I get on lucky run ( I have best hand vs Player who has 2nd best hand) that allows me to get paid off BIG. At this point I just made $1300 in 1 hour!

With my $1300 profit I decide to tighten up my play and only play top hands. What happens...I get a crazy amount of top hands but none of them hit. And if they do hit, I have a big hands but are only 2nd best. So  my stack slowly starts decreasing. 3 hours later I'm still positive $1020 and I get pocket KINGS!!! About 85% of the time I get KK, I run into AA. So I only call the small 3-bet from a tight player preflop as I assume he has AA, KK, or QQ and is trying to trap me. The flop comes rainbow K 4 A....
He bets 40% of the pot, and I raise because I have a set of Kings but am concerned if he has a set of Aces. My raise was only a bit more than twice his bet. He doesn't hesistate a second and says "ALL IN" and moves in his chips which happen to be the same amount as mine...
WHAT DO I DO??
I really felt like he had Aces. I mean I REALLY felt like he had aces. But I started thinking he had Ace King for two pair. Maybe he had QQ's and is trying to rep AA's because I didnt reraise all in preflop. Maybe if he knows that I know he has aces, I'll fold when he really doesn't have shit. Maybe if he knows that I know that he knows I have KK's he's messing with me so I can call.

So, I hit the tank for 5 minutes until I finally said "CALL" like a total idiot. He flips over AA's and after the turn and river miss a K he gets all my money...Everyone was in awe that we both had a big hand. No one could understand why I didn't instantly call if had a set of Kings. But the better players respected that I knew he had AA's and almost actually folded a big set which is usually unheard of.

So not only did I lose the $1300, I lost my buyin which I really couldn't afford to lose. But I had to pull myself together. I couldn't believe that I actually busted out like that. I was so mad at myself. Ultimately my decisions led to the outcome. Poker is managed by choices and decisions that YOU make. I left the table at 5am or so and headed to the room. I felt so sick. I could only lay in bed and attempt to sleep it off. But I couldn't. I felt so alone. It was just Me, myself, and Poker in my head.

Finally after 3 hours of trying to sleep my mother called me. She made me feel much better after talking to me after a while. It made me realize how much I need her. I love her so much. She pretty much put me to sleep by talking to me on the phone because I felt like everything was ok, and I could relax then.

I woke up at 3pm and just really needed to go have a winning session not only to help money but my confidence.

I find a table and an hour later what happens?? I lose my buy-in when I turned a nut straight and some gambler re-raises me all in only to need to catch a spade on the river. 2 spades had been exposed during play when someone folded, so this only left him 7 cards out of the 52 card deck. A lousy 2 of spades hits the river so he wins my whole stack....GREAT!!!

I rebuy and wait 10 hours just to finally get up to a profit $100 out of the two buyins...10 hours! Ridiculous.

So now I'm here at 2:30am eating an amazing caesar salad in the restaurant. All in all I'm happy to come out positive in a session after I lost at the higher limit table the night before. Or the morning before..I don't know, I'm so confused with my days...Hopefully all you guys can keep up with all my nonsense talk.

I am still positive in $profit since becoming "pro". Not by much, but it means I'm a winning player if I'm still positive after withstanding that big loss I had...I'm going to get a long sleep and rest my brain.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

-King2

p.s. I don't really proofread or type grammatically correct. I had one follower who said "You really need to learn commas."...If you're bothered by an informal personal blog such as this one then please stop reading now.